


Living with the Consequences

by Zauzat



Series: A Mighty Fine Man [2]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-24
Updated: 2010-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-12 20:42:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zauzat/pseuds/Zauzat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Admiralty discovers that Pike cheated McCoy's solo flight sim result. It looks as if their relationship may be over before it has really begun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living with the Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed as ever by the lovely [imachar](http://imachar.livejournal.com/profile).  
> Inspired by [kamiyo](http://kamiyo.livejournal.com/profile)'s horror that Pike had condoned cheating, from when she beta-read the first story.

"Richard, what can I do for you?" Pike smiled at his friend and mentor as he entered the Admiral's office.

"Captain Pike. Take a seat." Pike did as instructed, frowning. He wasn't sure why he'd been summoned or why Barnett was being so formal about it.

"Captain, can you explain this to me?" Barnett slid a photograph and a test result sheet across the desk towards him. The test result was of McCoy's final solo flight sim, his successful attempt. Pike smiled inwardly at the memory of that day and all that it had led to since. He was not a man to let his feeling show in public but inside he was filled with the warmth of an entirely unanticipated happiness, the result of three whole weeks with Leonard as an exasperating friend and a munificent lover.

He then looked at the photograph which proved to be a frame frozen from a surveillance vid – a frame that in a grainy pattern of muted colour showed the shuttle just after landing with McCoy with both hands over his face and Pike leaning across with a hand on the controls. His mind froze as the implications began to sink in.

"And then there's this image," Barnett said grimly as he slid a second photograph across the desk. It clearly came from the same vid as the first one. This one showed McCoy with a hand curled round the back of Pike's neck. Their faces were pressed up close with eyes closed and mouths rather obviously mashed together.

Pike stared mesmerized at the two images as he sensed his career beginning to crumble around him - a slow-motion implosion as 15 years of highly successful and repeatedly decorated deep space exploration collapsed in the face of one spur-of-the-moment action.

"Captain Pike, do you have an explanation for this?"

Barnett's voice seemed to reach him down some endless tunnel. It wasn't what it looked like. He hadn't planned to cheat. McCoy had known his flight theory. They hadn't been lovers at the time, they'd barely been friends. Except that it was exactly what it looked like. As an Academy instructor, he'd manipulated the results of a crucial test to prevent the expulsion of the cadet who was now his lover. A cold sweat broke out on the back of his neck.

"No sir, I have no explanation to offer."

Pike had always believed in taking responsibility for his actions. He wasn't going to stop now. But the implications… No command of the Enterprise. No return to space. Dismissal as an Academy instructor. Reassignment to some backwater starbase. Probably a demotion as well. His entire career ruined for three weeks of torrid sex and some teasing conversation. What had he been thinking?

"For fuck's sake Chris, what in hell were you thinking?"

Pike jerked out of his reverie to see Barnett on his feet, pacing furiously across his office.

"Well, you weren't damned well thinking, I can see that. I'm disappointed in you, Chris. I expected better. I thought you were the last man to end up being led by your prick! And for him! Why the hell would you take this sort of risk for him?" He gestured angrily at the photograph.

Why indeed? Pike had known that McCoy was trouble from the first moment that he met him. He'd known that the doctor, with his insubordinate attitude and filthy mouth, was career suicide for an officer with his ambitions. How had he lost sight of that?

"I thought you were smarter than this, Chris. I know what it's like to be a captain - ruler of your ship, king of all you survey, answerable only to yourself. I know what it's like to operate with your superiors light-years away. You do what needs to be done to get the required results and then you have the time subsequently to massage the facts to produce an acceptable mission report. We all know it happens. Sometimes that's what it takes."

And so it fucking does, thought Pike bitterly. It was a quality you told me you valued, a reason why I was so rapidly promoted.

"But this is not deep space. Here the authorities are breathing down your neck. I know that the stakes down here on earth are far less, but that is the very reason why the petty rules matter more. You cannot behave like this at Starfleet HQ. I thought you understood that!"

Barnett was staring at him in bewildered exasperation, as if begging him to have some kind of explanation for this behaviour.

"I made a mistake. I have no excuse." Pike stared down at his hands resting on his thighs, hands that earlier that day had been wrapped around Leonard's powerful arms as the doctor had pounded into him. An entire career ruined because he'd fancied a bit of fucking. An entire career lost for the sake of the incredulous delight on Leonard's face as he looked down at Chris spread out below him.

"I will accept the consequences, sir."

"Dammit Chris! Look, I'll do what I can to try and minimize the damage, but the flight sim centre has filed a formal complaint. I can't get it out of the system. There'll be a disciplinary hearing, for both of you. I'll try and get a panel that will be sympathetic towards you. I have allies in the Admiralty but you and I have enemies as well. I can't guarantee the outcome."

Pike at last looked up to meet the other man's gaze. He was touched by how distressed Barnett was. "Don't use up all your favours to try and protect me, Richard. There really isn't any way out of this. We both know that. I'll just have to live with it."

"I'll do what I can, Chris. And until the hearing, for god's sake stay away from that doctor!"

Barnett stared at him sadly, shaking his head. The disappointment on his face was hard to bear. Having rejected his own father, Pike had chosen this man as the kind of officer that he'd hoped to emulate. Barnett had done so much for him over so many years and now Pike had failed him through five minutes of heart-driven stupidity for a man he'd only known for a few months. This is what you got for compromising your control.

"Dismissed Captain."

Pike walked out of the office. The sun still shone on the lawns. The cadets still chattered and argued and laughed. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed.

 *****

As he stood in the sunshine, Pike considered his options. He knew Leonard had classes all day and then an evening shift at the hospital. He considered calling him but what the hell would he say? What the fuck was wrong with the man anyway? Why would anyone think it a good idea to enlist in Starfleet with aviophobia? Pike doubted that he'd be able to say anything that wasn't laced with infuriated bitterness. He set his comm to divert the doctor's calls. He'd deal with Leonard when he'd calmed down a little.

The thought of going back to work was abhorrent. It wasn't as if it would be his work for much longer anyway. He commed John to cancel the day's appointments and organize stand-in instructors for his classes. Swapping his uniform jacket for an old sweatshirt, he grabbed his bike and headed blindly out of the city, roaring along the coast road as it twisted and curved along the shore of the Pacific, letting the concentration needed to control it at high speed override his current predicament.

When he finally began to pay attention to his surroundings once again, he realized he'd come down to the Big Sur, close to where he and the doctor had drunk themselves stupid after that fucking sim. The day they had first kissed, a kiss now apparently the latest piece of malicious gossip in the corridors of the Admiralty. Pike felt his anger at McCoy spiking yet again.

And yet it had also been the day Leonard had told him about the death of his father, the day Chris had first told anyone about some of his history with his own father. The day Chris had looked across the table at Leonard and at his fierce desire to love despite all the brutal lessons life had handed him and had wanted some of that capacity to love for himself. The day he had decided that his self-sufficient life was a prison, not a solution, and that a possible way out lay in reaching across the table to the infuriating man on the other side.

Pike walked along the beach, staring moodily at the waves lapping endlessly, mesmerizingly, against the shore. Somewhere nearby he had first slept with Leonard, before the sex, wrapped up in tatty quilts and strong arms, wondering if he could trust himself to this beautiful, exasperating man.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Maybe Barnett would organize a sympathetic panel. His previous achievements had to count for something. He was still young and could work his way back up the chain of command. But the Enterprise… dear god, what it would do to him to lose the Enterprise.

He'd told Leonard that their orders would eventually separate them but already he'd been dreaming of a future, although he'd admitted none of this to his lover. A future where Boyce was his CMO with Leonard as Phil's second in command. The Vulcan Spock as first officer with Jim Kirk below him. He wanted a young crew, an infusion of new blood into the stuffy hierarchy that was making Starfleet increasingly moribund. After a year Spock would take command of his own ship, Boyce would be sent with him to give him an experienced senior officer. Then he'd have Kirk – if the boy did nothing brashly stupid in the meantime – as XO, and Leonard as CMO.

Leonard as CMO! What fantasy land had he been living in? The man couldn't even land a shuttle with his eyes open. How would he ever cope with the stress of years in the black, shuttles and transporters and light-years from land?

Pike glanced down at his vibrating comm and pulled up a message from Barnett. _Bad luck with the panel. Van Rooyen to head it! He's got it in for both of us. And he hates sex scandals. Got Sanchez as the third. At least he's too ineffectual to have his own opinion. But he will follow the loudest voice! You have to find a decent defence!!!_

But he had no defence. And with Van Rooyen in charge there'd be no bouncing back either. In all likelihood he'd be demoted to Commander and reassigned to Starbase Command, left to shuffle papers in some backwater sector like Starbase 514, a desk-bound administrator for the many decades remaining to him. His name forever tainted by the rumours of sexual favours.

Van Rooyen was old school, a strict believer in the hierarchy. And he'd been a close friend of Captain Kamnach, the captain that Pike had stood down to prevent war with the Vestians. He'd not been pleased that the court martial had gone in Pike's favour and he'd had it in for him ever since.

That court martial had been more serious than this of course. He'd faced dishonourable discharge then, even incarceration on a prison planet. But then he'd been in the right, utterly convinced of the rectitude of his actions. This time he knew he'd got it wrong. His father had been right after all, damn him. This was what happened when you put other people's interests ahead of your own. This was what happened when you let your heart rule your head.

Presumably Leonard would be kicked out and he doubted the man would have any interest in following him to Starbase 514. Not when he could be a highly paid medical specialist back on Earth. So that would be the end of that. Good riddance really. They went together like oil and water.

And yet…

Life was better with Leonard in it. He'd get several comms a day, utterly random comments, largely scathingly insulting about other people or cheerfully insulting of Pike. Over the three weeks they'd only managed a handful of nights together, given how busy they both were, but every night had been memorable. Leonard was generous without limit in his affection, childlike in his delight that Pike wanted his attentions, and wickedly inventive in bed, taking charge with a gentle but firm authority that let Pike sink down into a safe place where he needed to be neither commander nor leader. A place where Leonard's determined attentions had been slowly washing away the accretions of stress and tension accumulated over decades.

He didn't want to give that up, not now that he'd finally found the courage to take up with someone like Leonard. Maybe he could resign his commission, find work in the private sector, start a new life with the doctor. And yet to serve in Starfleet was all he'd ever wanted in life.

And his mind started to work around the circle yet again, a circle of anger and shame and misery where he could find no way out that would let him keep all the things that he had come to cherish in his life.

 *****

Pike arrived at the hearing the following morning feeling groggy and exhausted. He'd run for hours through the evening twilight, trying to exorcise the aching tension with hard exercise and had then ended up working into the small hours of the morning, unable to face trying to sleep, sick of the repetitive course of his own thoughts.

McCoy was waiting outside the meeting room when Pike arrived, staring grimly at the floor. The man seemed to have shrunk in to himself, his normal brash confidence wilted, his face grey with strain. Pike's anger with him began to waver as soon as he saw Leonard. This man had brought a ray of sunshine into a life clouded over by duty. Pike hadn't realised just how dour his life had become until McCoy had burst into it with his irreverence and disobedience and pig-headed determination not to compromise. With his half-smile and wicked teasing and loving affection….

Pike realised abruptly that he had never unblocked his comm to allow calls from the doctor. He was still wondering what to say to him when the door opened and an assistant summoned them inside.

Three Admirals sat behind a long desk placed on a raised dais, immaculate in their heavily decorated uniforms. At one end was Barnett, looking tired and resigned, not meeting Pike's glance. Admiral Henrik van Rooyen was seated in the middle, fingers steepled as he gazed disdainfully at Pike, smugly righteous in his power. And isn't he loving this, thought Pike bitterly. The man was a stickler for detail, a petty pen-pusher of the worst type, dogmatically opposed to the liberal wing in the Admiralty that Barnett headed up. He would love to take down a protégé of Barnett, while apparently proving his commitment to the rules that governed Starfleet. On his right sat Admiral Miguel Sanchez. He was no good to anyone, a slippery follower who had progressed in his career by always being elsewhere when tough decisions had to be made and therefore never having to share the blame. He'd simply follow the winner in this little power play, which was likely to be Van Rooyen.

"At the moment, this is simply a preliminary disciplinary investigation," intoned Van Rooyen. "Now the complaint that has been laid before us is as follows…." He read from his notes with clear malicious delight, presenting the event in the worst light possible. Cheating, sexual favours… Gradually it occurred to Pike that a scene was being painted that made him a naïve fool who'd lost his head sexually over a manipulative younger man. He stared incredulously towards Barnett. This was his idea of helping Pike out? Trying to shift the blame onto Leonard?

"Now, do either of you have anything to say?" demanded Van Rooyen.

Pike was still trying to work out where to even begin with this new representation of the facts when McCoy jumped in.

"Yes sir, that I do. There's no excuse. Excuses are like backsides. Everyone has one and they all stink. This entire debacle was my fault. The failure on the test was mine. Captain Pike was not in any way to blame. I'll resign my commission. But it wasn't Captain Pike's fault. He was only trying to help. My advances afterwards were unwarranted and unwanted."

"You won't be resigning cadet," Van Rooyen said with clear pleasure. "You'll be dismissed. After all you have failed a compulsory test. Captain Pike's culpability has not yet been determined. Are you saying that you asked him to cheat on your behalf?"

McCoy hesitated, clearly caught between trying to take the blame yet not wanting to put _cheat_ in the same sentence as _Pike_. What the hell was Leonard doing anyway, trying to claim responsibility for it all? If anyone should be able to get out of this unscathed, it was him.

"This is nonsense," protested Pike. "McCoy did his best to pass, he had no idea that I would intervene. We'd discussed nothing beforehand." McCoy was staring at him with incredulity when the door suddenly burst open behind them.

"This is a closed hearing…" started Van Rooyen.

"Henrik! And why am I not surprised?" In swirled the small blonde hurricane that was Branch Admiral Dr Victoria Turnbull, the Surgeon General. "A bit underhand, don't you think? Having this hearing while I was on the other side of the world. Luckily my spies got the word out."

"Victoria," acknowledged Admiral van Rooyen, sounding as if the very word pained him. "Please don't exaggerate. We don't have spies in Starfleet."

"I do," replied Turnbull cheerfully. "If you don't, you're a fool."

She turned to the others. "Miguel. Fence sitting as usual are we? Richard! Richard, why are you hanging your protégée out to dry? You should know better than that. Doctor McCoy. You're bloody troublesome, doctor. Good thing I enjoy trouble. And Captain Pike. Why didn't you call in your allies Captain? This is no time to be martyring yourself on the cross. I'm sure we can find better uses for the wood."

Pike joined the rest of the men in staring speechlessly at her. And wasn't she loving it, he thought. If this woman could make Surgeon General, maybe there was hope for McCoy yet.

"Victoria," tried Van Rooyen a second time. "These charges are serious. This is no time for levity."

"Bollocks!" replied Turnbull robustly. "These charges are nonsense. For the record… are you all listening gentlemen? I take it that you are recording all of this. For the record, on the afternoon before McCoy's confounded final flight test, I commed Captain Pike and told him to do, and I quote - _whatever it takes_ \- to get McCoy through his solo flight sim. Captain Pike followed orders."

She suddenly turned on Pike. "Not that I recall actually ordering you to stick your tongue down his throat with quite such enthusiasm, pretty though the two of you are in that vid. But it was an inspired addition. He's been much more biddable since falling head over heels in lust with you. Do keep it up Captain!"

Pike gaped at her, noticing that McCoy was blushing furiously. He dared not catch Leonard's eye for fear that he would start to laugh, probably hysterically.

She whirled back to face the panel of her fellow Admirals. "This is a pile of bullshit, gentlemen. Freshly steaming bullshit. McCoy is a bloody doctor, not a pilot. We have pilots by the dozen. We have very few doctors of his calibre. He leaves Starfleet over my dead body."

McCoy was gazing at her in open astonishment. And Pike suddenly realised something, although the thought was immediately derailed by the ongoing tirade from the unstoppable force that was Dr Victoria Turnbull.

"If you watch the entire vid, it's clear that McCoy did indeed know his flight theory, although his aviophobia is something that will need to be dealt with. Pike did his best to get the doctor to pass honestly and then did as he was ordered to ensure the required result. If anybody is going to be brought up on charges of cheating, it will be me. And gentlemen, you really don't want to do that. I know where all the skeletons are hidden, remember?"

Pike looked round in fascination. Barnett was looking both amused and relieved. Sanchez was clearly wishing he was anywhere but here. And Van Rooyen was slowly turning an unhealthy shade of purple, obviously furious but interestingly staying silent.

"Erase the recording of this disciplinary meeting, gentlemen, send the boys out and let's have a little chat among ourselves about how this can be resolved."

Barnett motioned to Pike to get out. Pike scrambled to obey, pulling McCoy with him. He had a few choice things to say to the doctor, based on his sudden revelation.

Once in the corridor, McCoy beat him to the attack.

"You were ordered to cheat?" demanded the doctor.

"No, I damned well wasn't. She's exaggerating. She just told me to find a way to get you through the test. I never took it to mean that. And I didn't cheat deliberately." McCoy was staring at him mutinously, clearly disbelieving. "Dammit Leonard, I grabbed the controls on impulse. I knew that you knew your stuff.

"And besides," he continued, "don't you fucking yell at me. What kind of idiotic stunt were you trying to pull in there? Trying to take the blame? You thought this would go down like it did for you at Emory, didn't you? You thought I'd pull an Andrew on you and go running to safety in the arms of the authorities. And you thought the brass would close ranks and hang you out to dry."

"Well of course I damned well did," shouted McCoy. "You've got nearly 20 years of Starfleet service to your name. Promotions and commendations and a glittering future. Captain of the new flagship. I'm a second-year cadet with a record for insubordination. We've had all of three weeks together. Why would they choose me over you? Why would you choose me over your career?"

"Well, fuck you for having so little faith in me. It's not an either or equation you ass. I don't blame you for this. If I have to accept demotion, that doesn't mean that you and I will be over. The blame lies with me and I accept that."

McCoy glared at him, clearly disbelieving. "You blocked my calls. I couldn't get hold of you at all. What was I supposed to think?"

Pike sighed. In retrospect he wasn't terribly proud of that. "I admit, I was angry at first. Angry at you and at me, and at Turnbull and the brass. And Barnett told me to stay away from you."

"He hates me," said McCoy gloomily. "Doesn't think I'm good for you. And he's right, Chris. This whole debacle is harming your career. I'm not the right partner for a Starfleet lifer like yourself. You'd be better off without me."

Despite the fact that he'd been thinking exactly the same thing the day before, hearing the words come out of Leonard's mouth made Pike realise what nonsense it all was.

"He likes who I am when I'm with you. He just hasn't put two and two together. And he was trying to help out, in a rather more diplomatic way than Turnbull."

"She's something, isn't she?" said McCoy. "Did y'know she'd do that?"

"I had no idea. Interesting how highly she values you. You have both friends and allies Leonard. You need to get out of your ghetto of misery and see that. I'm not Andrew. Starfleet is not Emory. You are both wanted and valued here."

He walked abruptly over to McCoy and seized him by the shoulders, shaking him. "If you ever, ever, assume again that I am anything like that Andrew asshole, I will put you over my knee and spank you."

McCoy was blinking hard and refusing to meet his eye. Pike pulled him close, letting Leonard bury his face against his neck. "I thought I'd lost you," the doctor whispered. "I thought I'd miraculously stumbled over the best thing that has ever happened to me and then lost it all again through my own fucking failure. Everyone that I try to love, I end up damaging."

Pike wrapped one arm securely around his back and carded the other hand through his hair. He was frightened by the intensity of his feeling for this man, frightened by how vulnerable it made him, how it laid both his career and his heart at the mercy of something entirely out of his control. He sucked in a deep breath. He was used to facing up to his fears. He could do it again. "Whatever they decide in that meeting, we'll work through it together. I promise you that."

"Very pretty boys, but you might want to save it for later. Get your arses in here."

Pike and McCoy jerked apart from a passionate and slightly desperate kiss to find an amused Turnbull summoning them from the door.

They filed back in to face the four Admirals. Barnett had apparently been acting as mediator as he took the lead.

"Gentlemen, it has been decided that the circumstances reduce the severity of the charges. There will still be consequences but they will not be career-damaging ones. Cadet McCoy, you will need to retake the test, once your aviophobia has been professionally addressed. And on top of your current medical track and hospital duties, you are now charged with organising Starfleet's first seminar on aviophobia. Admiral Turnbull will oversee the seminar. _Lucky you_ ," he added sotto voce.

"And you, Captain Pike, will be supervising the first-year flight sims for the next semester."

Minutes later they were both back in the corridor. The ending was so rapid and so anticlimactic that Pike was left unsure as to what he felt about it all. He looked uncertainly at Leonard, who seemed dead on his feet.

"Did you sleep at all?" Pike demanded.

"No," said the doctor with a yawn. "Pulled a double night shift instead. Couldn't bear the thought of trying to sleep with this hanging over me."

"Go back to your dorm and sleep. I need to catch up with all the work I shrugged off yesterday. Dinner at my apartment? 2000?" That should give him enough time to think about what they did next.

 *****

Pike finally made it back to his apartment at 1930 to find Leonard already waiting for him, lounging on the lawn outside reading off a padd. Pike was by then heartily sick of the whole affair. Van Rooyen had contacted him to suggest that he had been extremely lucky to get away with it, to imply that men of his character were hardly ideal captains of flagships, and to hint broadly that Pike would be very closely watched from now on.

Barnett had contacted him to emphasise that he had been extremely lucky and to tell him in no uncertain terms that a doctor as provocative as McCoy was no good for a captain as ambitious as Pike. Just because Turnbull could get away with behaving like that, didn't mean that her juniors could. That his friend and mentor should be so disapproving of the doctor was depressing.

And then of course Turnbull had contacted him to hector him again for not get in touch with her, to tell him cheerfully that none of the rest of the Admiralty approved of his relationship with the medical cadet and to suggest that he would be a coward of note if he let the doctor get away because of that. "High time someone pulled that poker out of your arse!" she had added briskly.

Thank fuck Sanchez had kept his opinions – or lack of them – to himself. If one more Admiral shared his or her views on Pike's love life, there'd be a bloodbath at Starfleet Command.

Leonard didn't appear to have any opinions to offer either. He stood awkwardly in the hallway as if once more unsure of his welcome. And he could let it end this way, Pike realized. There would be no need for a tumultuous scene. He could just suggest that they spend some time apart while things calmed down. For his sake, McCoy would agree. The man was clearly shaken by how close his impetuosity had come to crashing Pike's career. Days would stretch into weeks. Their paths almost never crossed professionally. The relationship could just be left to die a natural death. It was probably the safest course all round.

Dammit all, his career had never been based on playing it safe. He was a better officer for having Leonard in his life and he knew it, whether the Admirals could see it or not.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said abruptly to McCoy. "In the bureau, second drawer down, there are some things I want to you to use on me when I'm done." He fled to the bathroom so he didn't have to witness McCoy's moment of discovery.

He'd not intended to do this any time so soon. He'd thought of maybe bringing them out for McCoy's 30th birthday, in a few months time. But he'd always been an organized man. Once the idea occurred to him as something he'd like to try – eventually – he'd done the research on the 'net and ordered the items that caught his eye.

If this relationship was going to progress after this debacle, he knew that he needed to prove to both McCoy and himself that he trusted the doctor. And he needed to give McCoy the opportunity he so clearly craved to look after Pike.

He came back into the bedroom after his shower with just a towel around his waist. Leonard was sitting on the bed in his pants and undershirt, fiddling with a set of soft white ropes and a wide velvet-black blindfold. "You want me to use these on you?" he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," replied Pike tersely. He really didn't want to have to explain himself. McCoy gave him a long searching look and then nodded, as if satisfied by whatever it was he saw.

"Lie down on the bed, face down."

Leonard moved around the room quietly, dimming the lights, turning up the heating, stripping down to his boxer briefs. He finally sat down beside Pike.

"Chris, we're not going to do anything heavy here, just a chance for you to relax completely in my hands. If you're uncomfortable, tell me. If you've had enough, tell me. Otherwise trust me to get it right, hmm?"

"I trust you."

Leonard nuzzled the back of his neck and kissed the knob at the top of his spine. "God, what you do to me, darlin'! Now there's not actually anything on your wall to tie you to, so you're just going to cross your wrists above your head and I'm going to bind them loosely. It's symbolic as much as anything, yes?"

"Go ahead."

He felt the gentle pressure around his wrists. The soft blindfold then enveloped his eyes, blocking out all light. He focused on breathing deeply and evenly. He wasn't about to admit that he'd been both bound and blindfolded as a captive of enemies of the Federation and that this was a much bigger concession to Leonard's control that it might appear.

Leonard seemed to have found massage oil somewhere in Pike's bathroom, as he now sat firmly astride the captain's thighs and began to rub across his shoulders and down his neck. Pike wasn't that taken with massages. Physiotherapy ones were just damned painful and erotic ones were normally far too gentle. But of course Leonard had to be the exception to everything. His strong hands and long fingers took no prisoners when it came to digging the knots out of Pike's back. But his haphazard erotic commentary, delivered in an ever deeper and softer accent, flowing across Pike's senses as slow as molasses on a cold morning, made it clear that this was no matter of business.

The massage followed a logical progression that was easy to anticipate, along his arms, down his back and legs, back up to his buttocks, the warm oil trickling tantalizingly down the crack of his ass. He was rolled over and the same process followed on his front, ending with his prick being lovingly caressed in a hot and oily hand.

"And ain't you a sight for sore eyes, darlin', spread out like a feast for my pleasure. Now's when the fun starts."

Leonard moved away, apparently collecting things from the cupboards and the kitchen. He kept talking as he did so, a steady stream of inconsequential chatter and Pike realised that Leonard was giving him an auditory link in a world without sight and now without touch.

Despite knowing that he could demand to stop, could simply pull off the blindfold and wriggle his hands free, he still felt disconcertingly vulnerable. Leonard's voice approached again and a soft tickle of fluffy fabric ran over his sensitized skin, tickling his nipples, his stomach, his cock. He jumped when it was replaced by something hard and cool, some kind of glass. "Looking mighty fine, darlin', so strong and so powerful. All just for me." Leonard's voice kept him anchored all the while.

He had no idea where the next touch would come, or what it would be. Leonard had assembled a strange range of materials and he found himself straining to work out what each one was. "Just relax, honey," Leonard drawled softly, "stop trying to anticipate. I promise I'm fixin' to treat you right."

Pike slowly let go of his mental commentary, abdicating all responsibility, sinking down into darkness and hyper-sensitive sensation, guided always by his lover's voice. It turned out that it was nothing like his prison experience, more like an enactment of the faith he had always tried to have in his crew.

"Time for dinner, I think," said that soft voice and he opened his mouth obediently. Chocolate – that was easy. Then pineapple. Ginger – which took him by surprise. Something mixed with fiery flakes of pepper that set his mouth alight. Yoghurt, spooned messily into his mouth. Leonard's tongue, cleaning up the mess around his mouth. He grasped fiercely at that tongue with his mouth, seeking the familiarity and reassurance of the kiss.

"Oh alright, have it your way!" Leonard changed the game, now eating the different foods himself and then kissing Chris, the flavour of the warm familiar mouth changing subtly each time. Pike had never been so minutely aware of the details of the taste and touch of a lover, so closely attuned to every nuance of Leonard's voice. Every touch and every word spoke of love and respect and spiralling desire.

"Dammit Chris!" Leonard voice was beginning to tremble. "I planned to do so much more but you're just so fucking sexy like this, I'm going to burst. You don't know what it does to me, for you to trust me like this."

"Fuck me already!" Pike growled. "You can keep the toys to play with when you want. Just get on with it."

Leonard huffed with laugher and wriggled between his thighs, pushing his legs up towards his shoulders and then – to Chris's surprise – pushed a warm oily cock into his ass without preparation. Chris wouldn't have thought he could take it but his body was so relaxed that it stretched amenably around the intruder. It was achingly tight and he had never been so acutely aware of every inch pressing inexorably inside him. He grabbed the top of the mattress with his bound hands and gave himself up to being a vessel for his lover.

Leonard was fucking him slow and deep. "Darlin', so beautiful, you mean the world to me. I'm so sorry, honey, I never meant to cause you trouble." He reached up blindly with his mouth, trying to catch Leonard's lips with his own, trying to comfort him as he found himself comforted.

"Dammit Chris…" He could swear that he felt every spasm of Leonard's cock, felt the wash of wet heat from Leonard's come as the doctor finally fell apart above him. He winced as the other man pulled out too rapidly and then bucked up as three fingers shoved back into the tender mess in his ass and that mobile mouth finally silenced itself around his cock. His climax was hard and sudden and prolonged – as if years of miserable self-control were being swallowed away in the forgiving depths of Leonard's mouth.

He lay in the hazy glow of the aftermath, ropes and blindfold gone, fingers entwined in Leonard's, letting himself float in the pleasure of total surrender to this beautiful man. There was a rightness to this that he had not felt in years. Damn what anyone else thought. He would not easily give this up. He found his thoughts returning yet again to their possible future. He wasn't quite ready to share all of his plans. Still, he was tempted to try a few hints.

"I guess you've always assumed you'd take a planetary posting, or a Starbase. But if you can get the aviophobia sorted, would you possibly consider serving on a deep space exploratory mission?" He posed the question as casually as he could.

The fact that Leonard instantly rolled over and buried his face against Chris's neck suggested that his subterfuge was less than successful.

"Now there's an incentive to overcome my fear of flying! Darlin', if the right captain was doing the asking, I'd serve anywhere in the known galaxies or beyond."

\- THE END -


End file.
